What about Year 12 in HSC? *Shrug* I don’t know, but I think the workload from 5 subjects couldn’t be compared to the 11 subjects during secondary school… not that I did all the work during secondary school. At least the subjects, Physics, Chemistry, English, Mathematics and Economics, were relatively interesting and useful, compared to certain subjects in secondary school, which, I am sure, don’t need any mentioning.

I thought university will be a place of education, a place to gain knowledge is gained, a place where the subjects will be intellectually stimulating, and being the oh-so famous and pretigeous (relatively speaking) University of Melbourne which motto is Postera Crescam Laude, it will be a place where students will have more freedom in terms of learning, choosing subjects and persuing interest. I thought university won’t be just another machine, churning out “leaders of tomorrow” annually.

Clearly I was wrong.

Sometimes I do wonder if I have chosen a wrong course. Sometimes I jokingly say that there’s still useless subjects in university, just to remind students that, in the famous words of Monty Python, “life’s a piece of shit when you look at it”. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worthed to pay so much to study here.

Let it be clear that I do not think certificate is any important at all. It is not a proof of competancy, and certainly is not a guaranty for success in the future. Maybe there’s some truth in it when people say that you degree is only important until you get your first job. Truth to be told, perhaps one of my biggest fears is having to rely on a salary through working from 8 to 5 everyday for the rest of my career.

I think that the ability to learn on our own, and not having to rely on any formal education is of the utmost importance in life, solely because learning should be a lifelong process, while we only spend by a fraction of our time in school and university. Often that I ask the people around me, which would they choose, if they were to choose from being a jack of all trade, or a master of one. Ideally, both, they inevitably say. But if they were to choose, most would rather be a jack of all trade. I guess Pascal said it accurately in Pensées:

Since we cannot be universal and know all that is to be known of everything, we ought to know a little about everything. For it is far better to know something about everything than to know all about one thing. This universality is the best. If we have both, still better; but if we must choose, we ought to choose the former. And the world feels this and does so; for the world is often a good judge. – Blaise Pascal

I couldn’t help but to feel that hypocrisy when a person who encouraged curiosity among students, and urged students to learn more on their own, told me that he can’t approve a subject change just because he has to abide by the requirement set by the association of engineers. Even when I requested that this subject, which supposedly going to teach all three main topics: economics, accounting and law, to be replaced by an accounting subject. Even when it is clear that these topics will only be covered superficially.

I am quite certain that I already have the understanding economics required by the subject, if not more. Yet, I was told that the economics I learned in Year 12 would be different from what I will be learning from 1/3 of a subject next year. And I was told that I cannot be exempted from taking the subject, because that’s what required even though I may not like it. I can’t help but to feel sick, when he made an analogy, where he was fined yesterday for parking illegally in front of the faculty building, even though it was his day off and he was just there to pick up some documents from his office – even though he doesn’t like it, that’s the way it is. Such is the word of an educator.

Frustration, frustration.

A couple of nights ago, my brother and I were in discussion about the effects of cultures in our lives. His stance is that culture is an imporant part of what defines us as who we are, which group that we belong to. My stance, however, is that some traditions are outdated and should not be practised.

Taking my grandmother as an example, my brother rethorically asked if I think she really believe that somebody will bless her, protect her, answer her wishes if she prays. I am not very certain of the answer, but I have a feeling that she’s an agnostic, and somewhat theistic. I think if I ask grandmother, she’d have answered me, there’s no harm done believing, so it’s better to believe than not to believe. Somewhat a Pascal’s Wager, don’t you think?

Another culture which is still somewhat prevailence among Malaysian Chinese is spiritualistic beliefs, especially among the older generation. Taking a recent event as example, a woman in Penang was conned of her jewellery and RM 6000. Apparently, she believed that she’s experiencing bad luck, and wanted to get rid of it. Detail aside, in the end, she was conned by three women, one of them claiming that she had learnt some skills from a medium.

Obviously, you can claim that this is just due to her ignorance, and possibly due to the lack of proper education. I say, however, if this spiritualistic beliefs are not in prevailence, this particular event might not have happened. If this kind of spiritualistic beliefs in my culture is what defining who I am, I would rather abandon my identity.

Obviously, if you want to get really scientific, what really defines us is our human genome, our individual unique genetic makeup, aside from natural or artificial clones. However, what I have in mind is how other people would describe us. Well, normally, I guess people would just say that I am a Chinese. Straying from the topic a little, I find it interesting that how those Chinese coursemates of mine from mainland China seem to be so shocked that I can speak Mandarin.

Now back to the topic. Sure, I am a Chinese, and I identify myself as a Chinese, but I don’t think that’s very imporant at all. I think people tend to care too much about racial differences and appearence. Growing up in Malaysia, religion aside, I do not think that children of different races live too different lifes. In fact, I think that it is very much possible that there are more similarities between two children of different race than two children of the same race.

This just reminds me of Tan Hong Ming and Umi Qazrina. Please do have a look at the following YouTube video, Percintaan Tan Hong Ming (Tan Hong Ming In Love) :

I think people of difference races in Malaysia are not too different from each other, it’s just that some people put too much emphasis on our differences, and choose to be blind about all the similarities that we share. They claim that we have different cultures, that we live totally different lives, and some other will agree without really reflecting and pondering this issue in their mind first.

Sure, we might have really different culture, 50 or 100 years ago, but I think this wall of difference between us is slowly, but surely desolving. Keep emphasizing our differences will be like constructing an imaginary “Malaysian Wall” which divides people of different races, taking steps away, rather than towards, unity. As a side note, ex-Prime Minister of Malaysia, Dr. M, is still claiming that “after the land is sold, the Malays will be driven to live at the edge of the forest and even the forest itself”, referring to Iskandar Malaysia, or formerly known as Iskandar Development Region. So much for racial unity.

I think, one of the most beautiful fact that science has proven is that all humans are truly brothers and sisters. Perhaps it is time to embrace that fact, rather than wallowing in our imaginary racial superiority. No, I am not talking about abandoning our own culture. What I am saying is that we ought to acknowledge and embrance our differences, but emphasise on our similarities. However, I still hold strong to my stance that the aspects of culture which you deem unsuitable or even wrong, should be abandoned.

I urge you to have a look at Wade Davis’s talk on TedTalk, The Worldwide Web of Belief and Ritual :

I reckon it’s inevitable that I feel like this, wondering if I’ve lived my life as I like to over the years. I think I’m more of a glass-is-half-empty person. I get depressed over the mistakes I have made in my life, sometimes. I try to view the world logically, methodically and mathematically, but I guess part of growing up, for me, is to learn that not everything can quantized, and the future is uncertain. Life is more like a compromise, and I have to learn to give and take, in order to reach a comfort zone. But I also like to believe that there is always room for improvements.

My mother mentioned that I was born prematurely, about 2 or 3 weeks early, in a breech birth. Doctor suggested a Caesarean section to be performed due to the risks involved, but I was safely born without operation, perhaps due to my low birth weight and size. Mom never forgets to say that my size was comparable to that of little kitten… Some studies have shown a direct link in between an increased birth weight and an increased IQ. Does explain why I am so toot, doesn’t it?

When I think back when I was 5 or 10, I used to think that my cousin, who is 10 years tolder than me, is so much more older than me. I sure thought that my parents were much much older than me. But when was already 10 and 12 when 2 of my cousins were born. I watched them grow up. I still think that they are THAT much younger than I am. But the fact is, I’m not that much older than they are, and in a few years time, they will be as old as I am now.

The funny thing about life is nearly everybody thinks that they are the smartest people in the room, even if they never admit it. The fact is, however, we aren’t really that smart and we are pretty much ignorant about a lot of things. We expect that our parents know a lot, especially when their age is like the nth multiple of ours. But when we reach a certain age, we realise that the number n is so small, and we might start to think that they don’t know much, that they are not up-to-date and ignorant in this fast changing world. The truth is, there’s always something we can learn from our parents, as we have done so throughout our whole lives.

Couple of days ago, my cousin asked me, what do I want to do in my life? Not an easy question to answer, I think. Thinking back just a few years ago, I am surprised that so many things have changed. And I’m surprised that so many things remained the same also. A few years seems to be short, but it is still a large percentage of my life. A lot can happen in a few years. One can get rich, one can loose everything. One can fall in love, one can fall out of love. One can loose one’s life, but it’s not really likely that one be suddenly come back from the dead. Heh.

6 years of primary school and 5 years of secondary school, whenever I think of it now, still feel like huge part of my life. Now that I’m in a 4 years bachelor’s degree course, I’m supposed to feel that it’s long also, right? But last year seems to have past by in a blink of an eye. This semester, however, seems to be so long! I can’t really believe that I’ve been back here for less than 3 months. It seems much much longer. I want to go back home.

What do I want to achieve in my life? Have I even achieved anything in my life worth mentioning? Am I even a person worth knowing? Heh…

A crayon was found stuck in Homer’s brain, of which was removed later. It turned out that the crayon was the cause of the Homer’s undeniable stupidity. Homer’s life changed after that. The upside was that he became very intelligent, could solve Rubik’s Cube in mere 2 moves. The down side was that he became very critical in his thinking and pointed out other people’s mistakes. His friends resented it, and soon he became lonely and sad. Lisa pointed out that there is an inverse relationship between intelligence and happiness. Feeling that there was no reason to be intelligent if he was unhappy all the time, Homer chose to have the crayon inserted back in his brain…

I think how well you are doing compared to the people around you, or in another word, self-worth is an important factor of happiness. Take for instance if you earn $2000 a month while your peers earn $5000 a month, it is very likely that you will be haunted by the thought that you are not as competent as your peers. In a dog-eat-dog world, I think intelligence is an important factor affecting one’s promotion, career, earning power, and hence indirectly, to one’s self-worth. Compare the previous case a person who earns $5000 while his peers earns $2000 a month. I suspect that the chances are, the person in the latter case would be happier. In this sense, I think more intelligence leads to happier life.

Having said this, I think intelligent people like to analyse things. Intelligence, I think, has a lot to do with one’s ability analyse causality and anticipating the future. There must be a lot of intelligent people in this world, but not all succeed in what they do. For those who failed, analysing the causes of their failures is their nature. I shouldn’t have said that; I shouldn’t have done that; I shouldn’t have invest on that; I should have acted faster… These statements would have haunted them after their failure. It is good that one can analyse one’s cause of failure and never does the same mistakes again. But some people may dwell on their failure and feel miserable about it. It doesn’t help when one knows the failure could have been avoided if not for one’s action or inaction. Maybe intelligence leads to an unhappier life.

I believe intelligence has a a lot to do with one’s learning ability. An intelligent person, I presume, would be able to understand a concept or a theory more readily and quickly than a less intelligent person. I think this has to do with an intelligent person’s ability to see patterns, and the relationship between separate incidences, concepts or knowledge. This grants one the ability to detect and identify problem, and formulate solutions quickly. I guess the obvious benefits comes from the satisfaction with ones own ability in solving problems, as well as the feeling of superiority to their peers. In this aspect, I have to say that intelligence is a factor for a happier life.

I think it is possible and likely that intelligent people have interests which requires thinking. Intelligent people enjoy thinking and challenging their thinking skill. I think science would be a common interest. Intelligent people doesn’t like to be told fact; they want to know why as well. They like to have conversations which causes one to ponder and to wonder. Questioning established knowledge, beliefs and dogma can be common. I think, it is entirely possible that some people simply do not like their questioning. Most people just do not have the same interests they do. Most people just do not like to have conversations which require too much thinking. I think, some intelligent people may feel lonely, and can depressed at times.

What say you? Do you think there is a correlation between intelligence and happiness? Is the relationship direct, or inverse? Ignorance is bliss, some say. Maybe it’s better not to be intelligent?

That simple phrase lingered in my mind, and I started to think how true it is, that we are truly the product of our own environment. Of course, that does not mean that the outcome of people from similar environment will always be the same. Different people reacts differently to similar situation, hence the different outcome. But… For people to think and react differently, does it not mean that they previously had to be exposed to different environment? Then, does this mean that they react differently because they are already product of their previous environments? I shall leave this philosophy of never-ending causility alone, for now.

I remember my sister used to complain that my parents pampered me too much when I was a little kid. I vaguely remember that she said my parents used to buy more toys for me. I can hardly remember, but I know I must have been quite a brat. I remember that my first rather expensive toy that I bought was the Game Boy, after playing my cousin’s. Yes, it was the earliest version. I remember I paid quite a small fortune for it in 1998(or was it 1999?), from my own saving. The toot-est thing is that Game Boy Colour came out not long after I bought it. I spent too much time playing my Game Boy and my mother had to confiscate it to control me. Not to forget, I had to get myself a pair of glasses not long after that.

Funny though, how that Game Boy affected my life. In 2000, XJ was sorted into my class. It was that year that we knew each other. It was also the year that we started to play Pokemon game on our Game Boys. He owns a Game Boy Colour. We spend quite a lot of time in the school talking about it, what pokemon we’d encounter at which location. What were the differences between the Red and the Blue version. Heck, I even bought a tooting game guide! I was playing Red and he was playing Blue, we managed to trade Pokemons and I did finish the whole 150 pokemon collection.

Come to think of it, there were differences between how we approach the game. I very much preferred that all my Pokemons are at the same high level, but XJ preferred to speed through the game with only selected few. It took me quite a long time to finish that game. As you can see, we had different approaches, no doubt because we were different products of different environment. With hindsight, perhaps I can speculate that I liked a slow and steady approach to things, and that firm and broad foundation must be laid out before a strong empire could be built. Or perhaps, it reflected the more socialist side of me, where every pokemon deserved my time and energy to bring the best out of them, and none should be neglected. I can’t help myself but to laugh as this is starting to sound too political. I must remember I was just a primary school kid then!

I did wonder how I got through my primary school years without much revision, and with so much Game Boy-ing. For those of you who are wondering what happened to my Game Boy, I guess I have grown out of it. I spent very little time on it after I went to high school. In fact, about 2 years ago, I found it in my cupboard and unfortunately, I had forgotten to take out the cells. The electrolite in the cells leaked and “drowned” my Game Boy. I do remember that I once played Mario when I was in high school, and I thought: why did I ever think that this game was hard when I was in primary?

Hmm…… Is anyone still reading this?

I started reading Jin Yong novels when I was in Form 1. They were in Traditional Chinese. Of the 14 novels he wrote, I am proud to say that I have read all of them, other than 白馬嘯西風 and 鴛鴦刀. I used to bring a novel with me wherever I go, so that I can read them whenever I am free, even during meals! It took me about 2 years to read those 12 novels, but I did read 神鵰俠侶 twice or trice. Laugh all you want, but I like the love story very much. With all the reading, perhaps you might suggest that my Mandarin would benefit from it. I guess it did help a little, but reading and writing are totally different aspects of a langauge. I am never a good writer, I have to admit. Also, a lot of times, I find myself knowing what a word means, but not knowing how to pronounce it. And I call myself a Chinese…… (shake head)……

Sometimes, I wonder how I started reading. Was it because my father likes to read? Maybe that was one of the reasons, but I doubt it was a major factor. My dad likes to read, but his reading materials are nearly all in English. I started with Traditional Chinese instead. My mother used to be worried about my English. She said I didn’t read English books, and hardly spoke or wrote in English. Indeed, my parents were worried about the English standard of my siblings and I that during the year-end holidays in 1999, my parents sent us to English Language School (ELS) in Han Chiang. I resented the idea. Think about it, 5 days a week for 4 weeks! I thought it is a total waste of my time, and I very much rather spent my time enjoying my holidays instead! Truth to be told, I still think it was a waste of time. And money.

I remember the government implimanted the Buku Nilai program when I was in high school, though I don’t remember what year it was. At first, the school demanded that students hand in an entry every week. My first reaction was toot! Let me ask you, how was I supposed to finish a 400 over pages novel in a week, not to mention that they were in Traditional Chinese, and it must be done during school days! Of course, the school never really required that we read novels, but they must be books, fiction or non-fiction. However, at high school level, I would supposed that we have to read books of reasonable standard. But then again, we were prescribed the shortened version of The Prisoner of Zenda in Form 3, a 100 pages book, with illustrations!

I always wondered how those people who provided entries for n books a year in their Buku Nilam managed the mission impossible. However, I realised how they accomplished the task this afternoon. I was cleaning my room this afternoon and I found some old books, some were given by relatives, some were mine such as The Prisoner of Zenda. Those books never get a place in my cupboard, where my book collection is. Anyway, I found this book 小白象变猪. I am pretty sure you are not interested in it, but hey, out of curiousity I did finish reading the book. All illustrated 38 pages of it in 5 minutes. Maybe more. I was just too mesmerised by all the pretty illustrations of how that White Elephant was turned into a pig. Haha. Yeah, I know, it’s a book suitable for a 5 years old, but hey, I guess it is reasonable as an Fiction entry in Buku Nilam! Sigh…… I could have won that bicycle…… (shake head)

Seriously, is anybody still reading this?

I remember that in Form 3 (or was it Form 2?), my form teacher who was in charge of our Buku Nilam demanded that the class write an English entry. If I am not mistaken, that was one of the first few English novels I read. I can’t find it in my room, and I don’t remember what the name of that book is. However, I am pretty sure that it’s those kind of books you can find in the Teenage section of a bookstore, not too thick, 150 pages perhaps…… I read Harry Potter too, after either my brother or sister bought the first book. I suspect it was my sister, because it is very rare that my brother reads a book, much less buys a book. I am not saying that he does not read. I am just saying that he seldom reads books. “Have to embrace the new technology”, says he, staring at his computer monitor.

Anyway, Harry Potter didn’t appeal much to me. Since I had already read the first book, I bought the subsequent books too, until Book 5, The Goblet of Fire was it? That’s when I told myself, enough is enough. I decided not to read the other 2 books. I enjoyed reading The Lord of The Rings but The Hobbit was like a children’s book while The Silmarilian was like a tooting history book! I like The Wheel of Time series but why the toot did Robert Jordan die before finishing the 12th (also the last) novel!

I don’t remember which was the first non-fiction book I read. Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time, maybe? I noticed that I started reading more non-fiction these couple of years. If I were to nominate the best book that I have ever read, without a doubt, I would have chosen The Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham. Took me weeks I read it, though. But I wished I have read it years ago, oh say… before 1997! Haha. Seriously though, I do hope I have read it earlier in my life. And I shall read it again.

Is this post getting anywhere, you may ask? Yeah, I have no idea also. In fact, I don’t think I’m A Product of My Environment is a suitable title at all. Perhaps What I do during my free time is a much appropriate title. Then again, the post is inspired by that Zits comic I read and I -am- the author or this blog.

Festive seasons are always for us to meet up with loved ones, family and friends. When I was young, Chinese New Year was the best festival in the year. For the sake of those who do not understand Chinese custom, I shall give a brief introduction to Chinese New Year.

The Chinese New Year, as the name implies, starts on the first day of a new year according to the Chinese lunar calendar. Having said this, the celebration actually starts a day before. It is customary that family members go back to their home town to have a Tuan Yuan (get-together) dinner with their extended family members. Other than the obvious chance for the family members to keep in touch, they are reminded of their root, of where their ancestors came from, or for some, of where they grew up. It is a way to keep the culture and the customs alive. Perhaps this was quite a reasonable for those with small extended family, but I have to admit, not quite so for a person with (still alive) 3 uncles, 8 aunts, 52 cousins, toot-knows-how-many nephew, nieces, grand-nephew, and grand-nieces……

Then comes the New Year. According to custom, children should visit their parents, younger siblings should visit the elder ones, nephew and nieces should visit their grandparents, uncles and aunts. In short, one needs to visit all one’s elders. No wonder the Chinese New Year was celebrated for 15 days! As for the reason why I thought Chinese New Year as the best festival of all, it is customary that the elders give Ang Pow (red packets) to the unmarried younger ones. Hey, who can say no to the extra dough?

As I grew a little older, visiting relatives is becoming more and more of a chore. Due to my upbringing, I don’t usually spend on unnecessary things, so most of the dough I get goes into my bank account. I never gamble. So, what is the fun of getting the extra money if I don’t spend it? Of course, I’m am just using the Chinese New Year as an example for the many festivals in my country in a year. What I really want to talk about is festive celebrations in general, not a specific one.

Sometimes, I wonder why people are so excited about the sun and the starts being at the particular position in the sky, or the shape moon reflecting sun light? Haven’t we learned from astronomy that all these phenomenon can be explained from the fact that the Earth is orbiting the Sun, while the Moon is orbiting the Earth? I may sound rather anti-social or anti-festive-celebration, but what I am trying to convey is that science has given us a much much more elegant explanation to the phenomenon our ancestor observed in the sky, rather than, say… A Nian monster terrorised a town in China, and the Chinese New Year is to celebrate the success of driving Nian away.

However, for the past few years, I dare say I can slowly understand the true meaning of these festive celebration. New Year is not here for us to celebrate return of the constellations to their rightful place. Mid-Summer Festival is not for us to celebrate the accent of Chang-er to the moon. The list can go on and on, but I have to refrain to do so. What I really want to say is that we really have limited time to spend with our loved ones, family and friends. Festive celebrations are the really rare time when we can sit down and spend what little free time we have together. Isn’t that all it is about? What more can you ask for?

Cherish the little time you are alive, and spend more time with your loved ones. And quote Fiddler on The Roof: To life, to life, La’haim!

Christmas is a day when people of other religion come together to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. – Bart Simpson.

I took up running recently, at a park not too far from my house. It was quite a long while since I’ve done much exercising, and I’m trying to build up my stamina. I like to walk around the park once after each run. There are surprisingly a lot of things to see at the park during the time of the day. There is a lady who goes there with her two dogs, usually arriving there as I finish my run. It’s interesting that she removes the leash of one of her dogs but not the other. There’s a father who brings her daughter to the pond at the park. I remember, because we exchanged a smile before. There’s also a girl whom I’ve seen skipping rope at the park a couple of times, as I run by not too far from her. I remember, because she makes me wish I’ve brought my rope along with me.

Sunsets are forevermore mesmerizing. I like evenings. That’s the time of the day I get to see a different colour in the sky, since I don’t wake up early enough to see the sun rising. I was walking towards the fountain in the middle of the park, when I reach a place where the sun is hiding behind a tree, straight in front of me, not too far after the fountain. I can’t help but to remember the verse from the beautiful song What A Wonderful World.

Approaching the fountain, I saw three women looking at the fountain. One of them was leaving. She saw that I was approaching, and I smiled back at her. She said, “the ducklings have hatched.”

Out of of curiosity, I walked closer to the fountain, and there they were, 8 cute little ducklings who made my day. Their father, or so I assumed, since I am not good at differentiating duck genders, was standing on the ground, next to the fountain. He was obviously eying me closely. I supposed I was being a little cautious about him at first also, but I soon turned my attention to the ducklings in the fountain. They were swimming in a group, so small, so fragile, so cute, so vulnerable. Their mother was just a few feet away from them in the fountain, of course.

The ducklings swam towards me, eying me, as if curious about this giant standing in from of them. It was a while before one of the two women said to me, “you must move away before they’ll get out”. I soon realised that I was standing in front of a plank, the only pathway connecting the fountain to the ground! How silly I was, thinking that those little ducklings were swimming towards me.

As I moved away, 5 of them tried to walk up the plank, but only 1 was successful, and it walked towards its father. The others 3 seemed afraid of walking up the plank. Some of the ones who had failed during the first try tried to propel themselves from the fountain up to the ground. They failed, of course, since the height of the ground of the water level was more then 3 times their height. I can’t help but to pity them, and had the urge to actually help them out of the fountain. The two ducks there would probably attack me if I did though……

Soon they realised that the only way out of the fountain was by walking up the plank. They gave it another try. 3 more were successful this time. As if she was getting impatient, the mother flew out of the fountain to join the father, leaving the other 4 ducklings behind. During the time, more and more seagulls were coming to the fountain. I started to feel worried that they might actually attack those 4 unguarded, vulnerable ducklings! I watched anxiously.

It was a couple more minutes before they too got to the ground safely, and that I can finally sigh in relief.

Seeing those ducking really made me feel happy. I don’t know why, but I guess, sometimes, little gestures like a smile on the face can be surprisingly rewarding.

Entry
After 6 years of primary school life, it was great that I was finally going to a new environment, a new start, a new adventure. Entry level to Chung Ling High School that time was 12 or below, based on the result of Ujian Pencapaian Sekolah Rendah (UPSR) or Primary School Achievement Examination: 1 mark for each A’s, 2 for B’s, 3 for C’s, so on and so forth. There were a total of 7 subjects which I took (since my primary school was a “Chinese” school): Chinese Comprehension, Chinese Writing, Malay Comprehension, Malay Writing, English, Mathematics and Science.

If you are wondering why Chinese and Malay language are divided into two categories (comprehension and writing) while English is not, I can think of a few reasons, some may be contradicting and you’ll have to decide on your own:

1. English is not taken as seriously as Chinese and Malay (and Tamil) in Malaysia.
2. Malaysian students can’t write in English, hence there is no need for specialised English Writing examination.
3. Malaysian students are so competent in English that there is no reason to have a specialised English Writing examination.

There is an exponential increase in students who get straight A’s in recent years. I sincerely believe that students nowadays are getting smarter, with better results, hence more straight A’s students, all thanks to the great effort of the Education Ministry. It has NOTHING to do with the increase leniency in marking the examination whatsoever…. Right… This somewhat miraculous exponential increase of straight A’s students has lead to the tightening of entry requirement to CLHS.

Alternative Entry
What happens if you can’t get in to CLHS? Well, you can go to Heng Ee High School with a slightly lower entry requirement (which I don’t see there is anything wrong with), or you can try the alternative method. All you need to do is to know some of the trustee of CLHS or know somebody who is close with them. Since an important part of the funding for CLHS comes from the trustee, they have to the power to grant Right of Entry to a couple of student each year. So much for the quality control. Of course, there are late bloomers from that group of student who excel during their years in CLHS. Those are the ones worth our respect.

Note:
For parents, if you have some doubt about your child’s opportunity in entering Chung Ling High School and want an insurance or back up plan, be sure to make an early booking with the CLHS trustees. They are always in high demand.

10 Commandments of CLHS
If you think that the 10 Commandments exists only in religions, you are far from correct. Below is that 10 Commandments of Chung Ling High School in Chinese and its English translation:

一、钟灵中学的学生是纪律化的
他遇事镇静，有判断能力，绝对服从真理，处处顾到秩序。
二、钟灵中学的学生是尊重的
他言行不苟，尊重父母、师长和团体的领袖。

三、钟灵中学的学生是忠诚的
他处世以诚，不说一句谎话，或做一件欺骗的事情，受了人家的嘱托，肯负责去做。他看学校如自己的家庭，事事物物，无不竭诚爱护。

四、钟灵中学的学生是勤俭的
他勤于学业，刻苦耐劳，不浪费时间，并能充份利用他的机会。他节省费用，留以周济他人，或达到他个人有价值的目的。

五、钟灵中学的学生是谦恭的
他以礼待人，态度谦逊，出言和蔼，对于妇孺老弱，更知爱护，且有相当敬意。

六、钟灵中学的学生是勇敢的
他有主持正义，疾恶如仇，不避艰险的勇气。他不受谄媚，不怕威吓，任何失败，不能灰他的心志。

七、钟灵中学的学生是清洁的
他保持他的身体、思想、言语、习惯的清洁。他参与清洁运动，使环境美化。

八、钟灵中学的学生是乐群的
他没有怪僻的脾气，和不近人情的行为。对于利群的事情，从来不规避，总能拥护多数人的意思，通力合作，以求其实现。

九、钟灵中学的学生是乐观的
他时常含有笑容，能敏捷的，愉快的，尽他分内的职务，事务愈困难，心中愈快乐。

十、钟灵中学的学生是进取的
他不自满，不多言，向着他高尚的目的去努力，挫折愈多，努力愈甚。

1. Chung Ling High School Students are Well-Disciplined.
2. Chung Ling High School Students Respect their Elders.
3. Chung Ling High School Students are Sincere.
4. Chung Ling High School Students are Hardworking.
5. Chung Ling High School Students are Courteous.
6. Chung Ling High School Students are Courageous.
7. Chung Ling High School Students are Clean.
8. Chung Ling High School Students are Friendly.
9. Chung Ling High School Students are Optimistic.
10. Chung Ling High School Students are Self-Improving.

Alright, I admit, they are not exactly Commandment materials. Below is what the CLHS 10 Commandments would sound like if they are Commandment materials:

1. Thou shall be Well-Disciplined.
2. Thou shall be respectful to thy Elders.
3. Thou shall be Sincere.
4. Thou shall be Hardworking.
5. Thou shall be Courteous.
6. Thou shall be Courageous.
7. Thou shall be Clean.
8. Thou shall be Friendly.
9. Thou shall be Optimistic.
10. Thou shall be Self-Improving.

The CLHS 10 Commandments are more of a CLHS Ideal Student Code of Conduct. And since nobody is actually perfect and ideal in every single way, nobody actually conforms to the CLHS 10 Commandments exactly as stated. Another difference between the religious 10 Commandments and that of CLHS is that nobody with a sane mind actually remembers every single word of the CLHS 10 Commandments. Of course, there are exceptions, such as when the students are actually tested on the CLHS 10 Commandments in their Chinese Language exam during the first year. That was the last time I remembered the CLHS 10 Commandments.

Lower High School
During the lower high school years (year 1 to 3), the students are not divided in to specialised faculty or streams. The lower high school students attend classes in the afternoon. There are always more than 500 freshmen each year (over 600 students for my year due to the year of the Dragon). The students assigned to their classes according to alphabetical order. There are 30 to 40 students cramming in a small classroom for approximately 6 hours every day, excluding recess. It is against the school rule for students to leave the classroom during the change of subjects.

If you are worried that students might be stressed out from spending long hours in a small classroom, don’t be. We Malaysian Chinese are well trained to adapt ourselves to this situation, as we are under-privilege and do not have the government to built nice big schools for us.

Upper High School
Due to the encouragement from the government and also the 60-40 Science to Non-science policy, there are two faculties in CLHS. Quoting Wikipedia:

Chung Ling is one of only a handful of schools that conform to the government’s policy of 60-40. The 60-40 Policy encourages students to take up Science Streams as compared to Art Streams to the ratio of 60-40. In fact, Chung Ling has far surpassed this number and has over 90% of students studying in the Science Stream.

This is what really happening:
There are two faculties in CLHS – the Science Stream (aka good class) and the Art Stream (aka bad class). The requirement of getting into Science Stream is to score A for Math and Science for the Penilaian Menegah Rendah (PMR) or Lower High School Assessment. Those who achieve the stated requirements (more than 90% do), will be assigned to the Science Stream, and those unfortunate ones who don’t achieve the requirements are sentenced to 2 years of Art Stream.

Of course those who achieve the requirements, but still are interested in “Art” subjects such as Business Studies, Economics (all taught in Malay, for Science-knows-why) can still apply to go to the Art Stream, but let me assure you, most if not all of them leave after a couple of weeks due to…… unforeseen circumstances.

CLHS has a weird class-assigning system for the Upper High School years. Rather than the usual alphabet system (top students go to A Class, followed by B class, then c, so on and so forth), CLHS uses a special Alphabetical-Numerical System. There are 3 main categories, A, B and C. There are about 5 or 6 classes from each category, with the naming system of A1 to A5, B1 to B5 and C1 to C5. The top 1/3 of the student will be assigned to the A category, and students will be assigned to the specific class alternately according to their ranking. Example, the 1st will go to A1, followed by A2 until A5, and it cycles through A1 to A5 until all A students are assigned to a class. Same case goes for the B class and C class students.

Under this Alphabetical-Numerical System, less intense competition is expected, compared to the traditional Alphabetical System. Students are expected to grow together, with stronger students helping and encouraging the weaker ones along the way. You can see that the school uses a some what socialist approach, rather than capitalism, where strong competition is encouraged. Why expose innocent students to such competition which they might face in the real world? They should allowed to enjoy their high school life more. Besides, CLHS students are great at regurgitating what they have been spoon-fed by the teachers anyway.

What’s So Great?
The great thing about CLHS is that there are enough classrooms for everybody, hence each class has its own classroom. The Lower High School and Upper High School classes do not share classrooms. However, there is no locker system in CLHS. Since each class has its own classroom, you’d think that it is fine for students to leave their textbooks in the class, rather than bringing more than 5 text books to school every weekday. Sadly, that is not the case. Apparently, the school thinks that text books (which everybody owns the same copy) might be stolen, even if the rooms are locked every single day, even during recess. Yes, students are not allowed in the classroom during recess, for Science-knows-why. The reason given by the school is that things might get stolen during the owner’s absence at recess time.

The above is the introduction to Chung Ling High School. I will talk about CLHS in more detail in near future. Stay tuned.

I said that Object Permanence is a belief, because I think this is one of the skills we picked up through trial and error during our innocent years as babies. A quick search on Wikipedia shows that there are some studies carried out regarding this topic, some say that babies pick up the understanding of Object Permanence at the age of 8 to 9 months, some say that it’s even as early as 3 months. I am not certain if Object Permanence is in fact a skill we picked up or if we inherited it biologically, and I am not here to argue about it. If it is a skill we picked up, it is certainly an important one, as I think it forms the basis of our arithmetic skill, which I mentioned briefly in Believing.

How does the title of this blog entry have anything to do with Object Permanence, you may ask? I think it is because of this strong belief in Object Permanence that makes it hard for us to fully understand what I would like to call Object Impermanence in our early years of life. As oppose to Object Permanence, Object Impermanence simply means the belief that nothing exists forever without experiencing any change. I hope that now you can see that Death is a form of Object Impermanence, as life does not go on forever. It is perhaps the most important lesson that we have to learn, that we have to accept.

I am grateful that my parents and what I have learned helped me in understanding the concept of Object Impermanence. My mother taught me to adapt myself to the surroundings, my father taught me that I need to always upgrade myself to be at the front. Science has taught me that everything changes over time, and nothing is better at expressing that than the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson is a great motivational short story which deals with what we should do at the time of change.

Saying all of this, I must confess that what I have mentioned above did not help me in understanding the “Ultimate” Object Impermanence – Death. If you ask a small child what Death means, he can probably tell you that Death means the end of life as we know it. That is of course the obvious answer which everybody can tell you (except those who has no exposure to the concept at all, which is not a bad thing, since he/she may just turn out to be a second Buddha, if the story is true). However, how many of you who have not experienced the death of a loved ones can really explain what death is? How many of you who have not seen somebody die in front of you can say you understand how it feels to experience it?

I don’t remember when I was first exposed to the concept of Death, but I think I probably picked it up from cartoons when I was a child. It was not until the age of 16 that I really understand the concept of Death, after the death of my grandfather. Of course, I’ve attended many funerals many relatives, but none I am close with, some I only met once a year or so. No, I was not really close with my grandfather. However, when my grandfather was still alive, he was quite a permanent object in my life, since I more or less met him every week or so.

Thinking back, I should be expecting it. I remember that my grandfather used to walk all the way in front when my family and I were walking to a restaurant nearby for dinner. As the years passed, my muscles became strong and my steps longer, but my grandfather became weaker and his pace became slower. He used to go out for morning exercise nearly every day, but poor health had put an end to that during the last few years of his life. His health condition was worsened due to weak immune system. My grandmother mentioned once, that one night, she heard my grandfather talking to himself, calling out for his father and mother to take him away, to stop the agony he was in.

I believe that I was the lucky one among my grandfather’s grandchildren. My sister was studying overseas, my brother was in college, my cousins (my aunt’s children) were not living in the country, while the children on my uncle were just at the age of 6 and 4. Before the death of my grandfather, he was hospitalised. When his condition worsened and he was dying, he was sent back to his house. My father drove me there, but my brother did not make it in time to see meet my grandfather for the last time. I said I was the lucky one among his grandchildren because I had the chance to see him die.

Before he took his last breath, my grandfather looked around him, stared at each one of us around him. Then he looked at my grandmother for the last time, and his eyes paled. My grandfather was no longer a permanent object in my life. He was gone forever. That was the first time I truly understand the how frail, how short, how impermanent human life is.

I wept.

I looked around me, and saw that my 6 years old cousin with some tears in her eyes. She was sad. And I looked at her brother, he was not crying, and I was not sure that he really understood what death is. I remember asking him, “Grandfather is dead, you know?”

My brother reached there half an hour late. He was staring at my grandfather, and no tears left his eyes, even though he was closer to my grandfather than I was. Clearly the feeling of knowing somebody is dead and seeing somebody die is not the same.

For a period of time after his death, I was dishevelled. Life still went on the same with the absence of my grandfather. I still had my duties and my work, so did everybody else. (I have to thank my Vice President of my society who took over my duties during my absence for my grandfather’s funeral.) Slowly, life seemed to be meaningless to me, since no matter what I do or had done, in the end, Death awaits me. No matter what I achieve in my life, when the Death comes, it is the end. I started to slack a little in my school work.

It took me awhile before I had a change of mind. Life is a journey, and death is the end of it. That I learned. But knowing that there is an end to a journey does not make the journey any less spectacular. I do not think that there is an afterlife, but many people tend to hope there is. I once did, because it was a soothing thought to me, that death is not the end of everything. Many people told me that if there is no afterlife, then life has no meaning at all. That was what I once thought. The death of my grandfather caused me to think long and hard about this issue and these are what I’ve learned.

Knowing that there is an end to this journey does not make it any less spectacular. For every journey that we have taken in our lives, the memories still live in us. Likewise, those who are in our journey with us will remember us, long after our journey together has come to an end. Memories of good times as well as bad times will still live in them. However, it is the memories of good times that is remembered and cherished more.

Having no afterlife does not make life meaningless. It makes life even more precious! It means that we have only limited time to learn, to see, to hear, to experience and to interact with the people around us. It is us who determine the purpose of our life. It is us who choose the meaning of our existence. It is what we do and who we do it with that matter. Knowing that there is an end to the journey of life does not make life any less spectacular.

I would like to end this entry by quoting what Richard Dawkins said in Root of All Evil?:

“We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die, because they are never going to be born. The number of people who could be here in my place outnumbers the sand grains of Sahara. If you think about all the different ways our genes could be permuted, you and I are quite grotesquely lucky to be here: the number of events that had to happen in order for you to exist, in order for me to exist. We are privileged to be alive and we should make the most of our time on this world.”

When we are all safe and warm in our home, reading the newspaper, it is easy to spot news about oppression, hunger, disaster, accidents, which might and might not be happening near us. For those among us are more emotional, reading these news means reminding us how fortunate we are compared to those who are suffering from the mentioned incidents. Those news also remind us how those unfortunates are deprived of freedom, to get clean water, food, or to lead a good life. Yet, how many of us have actually realised and considered carefully that with freedom, comes decision making?

Decision making is an everyday task for most of us. It can be something small, such as “should I take the highway, or is driving through the city is faster?” or “hmm… I wonder which outfit suits me better today.” It can also be something big, such as “where should I invest this 1million dollar in?” or “am I marrying the right woman?” Despite the difference in the decision to be made, big or small, one thing remains constant: Decision making is usually hard, as it can be life-changing and yet we can never predict exactly how the future will turn out for us.

How nice it would be if we can just toss a coin in deciding which decision to make. Such is the silly statement which I heard once. And I asked myself, “why not?”

I have thought about this question for some time now, and I would like to share with you a simple guide to conventional decision making:

1. Identify the choices that are available to you.
2. Identify the actions (or non-action) which must be undertaken for each choice.
3. Identify the risk that you may face in taking that action (or non-action).
4. Identify the many possible outcomes which each choice may lead to.
5. Evaluate the viability of each choice based on the actions that have to be undertaken, risks due to the actions, and pros and cons of each possible outcomes.
6. Take best possible choice that you can find, according to your evaluation.

Up to this point, we can usually make the decision, but in many cases, we might be in a dilemma because the choices seem equally good and somehow, we seem not to have any preference of one choice over another. In my attempt to make my life simpler in terms of decision making, I have developed a Toss A Coin method, which builds on the conventional decision making process.

I do not believe that we have completely no preference of one choice over another. I believe that deep down in us, there is always more liking of one choice, however slight it may be. My Toss A Coin method is a way to help me discover which of the two choices I have that I like more, when the choices seems equally good according to my evaluation.

Firstly, when I am in total dilemma, I need to identify whether or not the decision making is going to cause a big impact to my life. For those which do not cause any immediate and big impact, such as “should I indulge myself in this big nice packet of Smith’s?” this is what I do:

1. Assign one choice to each of the two faces of a coin.
2. Toss the coin.
3. Take the decision, according to the outcome of the coin.

However, for bigger decisions, such as “should I spend more than 100 dollar for a Phantom of The Opera ticket?”, the Toss A Coin method becomes slightly more complex:

1. Assign one choice to each of the two faces of a coin.
2. Toss the coin.
3. Take a look on the outcome.
4. Evaluate your thoughts or responds based on the outcome.

At this stage, we can get a wide range of thoughts, such as “Ah, that’s good”or “Darn”; or we can experience different emotions such as frustration or relief. We can then categorise the responds or thoughts into two different groups:

a. Like
b. Dislike

Base on the responds or thoughts, we can now go to step 5:

a . Like – take the choice, according to the outcome of the coin.
b. Dislike – take the other choice.

Of course, the Toss A Coin method assumes that the coin is a fair one, which gives us a 50 – 50 chance of getting each outcome. Even if it is not, I am sure that it quite a good guide in helping us in decision making, since assigning a choice to one of the two faces is usually quite a random process. However, the Toss A Coin method will not be advisable for those who are actually crazy enough to toss a coin for, say, 1000 times to estimate the probability of its outcomes.

I hope those who read this post can remember this: Life is already hard as it is, why make it harder? The next time you are in a dilemma, remember to Toss A Coin!